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  UNBREAKABLE LOVE

  SONS OF HAVOC BOOK ONE

  BY

  Claire Shaw

  Copyright

  Claire Shaw 2019

  All rights Reserved

  The characters, places and names are fiction and created by the author.

  Any similarities to real life are coincidental.

  This book may not be resold or given to others.

  This book or portions of book may not be reproduced in any form without written consent from the author.

  Disclaimer

  This book is for 18+ only.

  Contains adult themes, sexual violence, and adult language.

  Cover Designs ~ Maria Lazarou ~ Obsessed by Books Designs

  Editor~ Helen Whitelaw

  Formatter ~ Maria Lazarou ~ Obsessed by Books Designs

  Blurb

  Can the broken really ever be free?

  Joker

  My best friend became the love of my life and in

  the blink of an eye she gone. Ripped away from

  me with no warning. I will never stop hunting for

  her,

  She will be mine.

  Carrie

  One minute I was in his arms and the next I was

  in hell. No-one can save me but me.

  I’m The Sons Of Havoc princess and I will rain

  down havoc to reclaim my life.

  Acknowledgements

  I can't believe I finally finished Joker and Carrie’s story. It’s been a true labour of love for me as these characters are very close to my heart.

  I really hope you enjoyed their journey. This is not the end for them or the men of the Sons Of Havoc.

  Next up is Tank. His story is one I cannot wait to bring to life.

  There are some people I really wanted to thank.

  My wonderful family who have been amazingly supportive. My poor husband who I think forgot at times he had a wife as I would come home from work and disappear to write and plus weekends. Thank you for listening to me bounce ideas and also bringing me cups of tea to keep me going.

  My book babes, Helen, Kate, and Tracy. Thank you for keeping me going, encouraging me that yes, I can do this. For helping me work out how scenes would go and just keeping me sane. You rock!

  My wonderful friends, Charlene, Kelly, Vikki, and Charlotte. Thank you for your support. You have honestly been amazing when the book is all I could think and talk about.

  To the amazing authors who have inspired me, given me advice and guidance when I've been so overwhelmed with it all. Gemma Weir, Victoria Johns, T.A Andrews, Erin Osborne, Chloe Walsh, Victoria L James, Ellie R Hunter, Nicole James and of course the naughty corner, Jen Thornhill, Sienna Grant, and Maria Lazarou, plus every MC writer whose books I have read and loved.

  Thank you to Maria at Obsessed by books for the beautiful cover, teasers and trailer you made for me. You are so brilliantly talent and made my inability to make a decision in your stride, I'm sorry. But you worked miracles with the very vague descriptions I gave you.

  Helen Whitelaw, my beautiful editor. I told you I have faith in you. You kicked my arse when I needed and made sure I believed in what I wrote. You are my soul sister.

  Kate Clark and Tracy Wood, my PA's. Thank you for keeping me organised and your hard-working pimping and just supporting me.

  Finally, to you, the readers.

  Thank you for taking a chance and reading my baby. I hope you loved it as much as me. I promise Tank is on his way and many more of the sons who find their badass other half.

  Sometimes we don't need saving, we can save ourselves!

  Chapter One

  Carrie

  THE PAST

  Bright lights, music, the smell of the shoe disinfectant, the sound of the balls on the lanes and people laughing. I love the sounds of a bowling alley. My weekend job and after school was at the local bowling alley. The owner had taken a chance on me and I was grateful. My folks weren’t the greatest, dad left before my little brother Johnny was born and mom was present but not really. She was either drunk, high, or just not around.

  Every day I would wish mum would give up the drink and drugs. The feeling that your own mom would rather be drunk or get high than raise you, broke a piece of me. Johnny was a sickly baby when he was born, due to mom still drinking and doing drugs while pregnant. I was all he had left; I was 12 years old when Johnny was born and I loved him like my own. I took joy in caring for him and making sure he was clean and feed.

  I could never understand why we were never enough for mom, why couldn’t she love us like we loved her. Even after everything she was still our mom and we loved her.

  The neighbour Mrs Clark helped look after Johnny while I was at school and when I was at work, she was a lovely lady and helped all she could but she was only just getting by herself and couldn’t afford to help us much as she wanted to.

  We didn’t want her money; the time spent in her warm, cosy, and inviting home plus the meals she would cook for us were more than enough. We felt safe and loved for when we would go round to her house, she was the grandma we craved. It was truly when we felt our happiest, sat around her kitchen table playing games or cosy on the sofa with a blanket watching films.

  Every so often mom would attempt to get clean and start trying to get herself together, she was always sorry and full of promises to be better. Sadly, they didn’t last long and as we grew older it happened less and less, until she just stopped trying at all.

  Before dad went away and Johnny was born, it was a happy home. I was always a daddy's girl. After dad left, my mom had to step-up and fill both roles, she struggled finding a job and not long after dad left, she found out she was pregnant. When dad was around, they both always loved to party but once mom was on her own, she started to spiral and partying too hard until she couldn’t stop.

  I remember the day dad left so clearly. He gave me a hug, told me he loved me and said I was his joy. He held me so tight and just kept saying he was sorry and how much he loved me. He told me I needed to be strong and look out for mom.

  I cried and begged him not to go. The sadness and despair on his face will never leave me. My dad was my whole world.

  My dad was a member of the local MC, Sons Of Havoc. Mom hated them; she used to say they were dirty animals and was not to be trusted. The brothers I’d meet always seemed kind to me and were nice when I saw them. They looked scary but they never made me feel scared, I always felt safe and precious. Their princess as they used to call me. When they came to the house, they would always take the time to say Hi to me and give me hugs. A few of them once even had a tea party with me.

  The only bright spot in my life other than Johnny was Jason. Jason was the boy next door and he was my best friend. We had lived next door to each other all our lives and our dads were best friends.

  Jason helped me with Johnny a lot and helped to buy food when I didn't have money to buy any and mom was on one of her benders, where she would disappear for days on end. Those days would scare me, being alone in the house with Jonny and no protection. Jason's dad was also a member of the Sons. Jason's mom had died when he was little so it was just the two of them and they were close.

  His dad was away a lot on ‘Club business’ which left Jason with no real adult supervision. So, Jason would take the gun his dad had in the house and stay with us. Together we were stronger.

  Not long after my dad left, mom started the hunt for a ‘real man’ as she put it, to replace dad. My dad could never be replaced. The men she brought home were always as drunk or high as she was. I use to hide Johnny and me in my room, so we were away from mom and her men doing drugs and having sex in the living room.

&
nbsp; The sounds coming from the living room, no child should ever hear. At first, they use to leave us alone but as I started to grow and develop, the men use to stare and ask mom if I was going to join them. I think that was the point mom started to hate me. She would accuse me of flirting with them and trying to steal her men for myself. She was delusional; the men were all old, balding with beer bellies. She was just so desperate for love and attention.

  One night, one of the men she brought home stumbled into my room and tried to get into bed with me. I screamed and tried to fight him off. It really scared Johnny and he ran from the room. Luckily Johnny ran next door to Jason’s and his dad Bull was home. Bull came and pulled the guy off me.

  Jason held me while I sobbed, stroking his hand up and down my back, reassuring me I was okay and he wouldn’t let anything happen to me ever again. We could hear Bull shouting at my mom. He kept telling her how furious my dad would be to know his kids were living like this and was not safe in their own homes.

  I begged Bull to tell me where my dad was. In that moment I just wanted my dad but he just shook his head and told me he couldn’t with a sad smile and a hug. It was ‘club business.’ He was sorry this happened and if he could change it, he would.

  On weekends when I would work at the bowling alley, Jason would spend time with Johnny. Sometimes they would come to meet me and we would play in the arcades, Johnny loved the slot machines. I loved those times, when we would play together and then have a few bowling games. Like a little family. I used to watch the other families around me and wish we could be like them. All nicely dressed and happy, smiling like we didn't have a care in the world. Just spending time together.

  I was jealous of them, I wanted what they had. Even at a young age I knew my life wouldn’t ever be like that. Maybe in my wildest dreams, one day but I had to face reality. Johnny loved Jason and really looked up to him. He was a big brother who looked out for him, taught him to defend himself and how to be a man.

  We were happy the three of us, with the adults making appearances every now and then. Bull was more of a parent then mom and made sure there was food and money for whatever Jason needed, he even used to leave a little extra for us when he knew we needed it. You could see that he was proud of me, that I was doing what I had to take care of Johnny.

  Things changed when we turned 15, I started to notice Jason was no longer the scrawny, short, spotty kid who was my best friend. His skin cleared up, he grew so tall and started to bulk up. He started to develop real muscles and his voice started to change. Get deeper and muskier. That was when my feelings changed, whenever his finger would graze my arm or he held my hand, butterflies would flutter in my stomach and goose bumps would break out on my skin where his touch had just been. I would dream about him kissing me, those soft lips on mine. His behaviour towards me never changed, except he now slept on the floor in the room me and Johnny shared, instead of the bed with me.

  I missed his arms around me, the feel of his breath on my neck as he snuggled close behind me, keeping me safe. I was counting down the days till my 16th birthday. Not that 16 was anything big but it meant I was one year closer to being 18. That was the golden age when I could legal look after Johnny and we didn’t need to be worried about Child Protective Services coming and taking him away. Jason had promised me a surprise for my birthday; I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned.

  Chapter Two

  Carrie

  When my birthday finally came, Johnny went to stay with Mrs Clark for the night. I had chosen a floral flowing dress in cream with small pink flower pattern and my favourite pair of ankle boots. My blonde curls lay loose and free, flowing down my back. I had paired the dress a necklace dad had given me; it was a locket with a picture of Johnny, dad, and me in one side and a picture of Jason in the other. Nerves rattled my body as I spritz some perfume Mrs Clark has bought me as a birthday present.

  Jason turned up in a pair of dark jeans, a black t-shirt which clung to his more defined muscles and black biker boots. He was starting to look more and more like his dad. He had told me that he planned to join the sons as soon as he was allowed. That worried me a little for his safety but I knew his dad and the other brothers would be there for him.

  Just the sight of him standing at my door had my knees feel weak.

  “You look beautiful,” he grizzled; his voice made her stomach do summersaults. “Thank you,” I murmured nervously.

  He took my hand and led me out to his truck, sliding into the seat; he closed my door and made his way round the truck.

  Jumping in I asked him, “Where are we going?”

  He looked over to me with his gorgeous brown eyes, winked and said, “It’s a surprise,” laughing as he put the truck in drive and pulled away from the curb.

  A short while later, he turned off the road and down this rough track between the tree’s, woods on either side, we drove until coming to a clearing that opened up with the most amazing view. We seemed to be high up and the view across to the sunset was breath-taking. Jason turned the truck around so the bed of the truck was facing the view, jumping out; I walked through the long grass to get a better look.

  Not sure how long I had been standing there, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and his breath near my ear.

  “It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed, not taking my eyes off the sunset.

  “Not as beautiful as you,” he whispered back.

  We stood for a little while longer just enjoying his arms around me and the view. “Ready for your surprise?” he asked.

  “Oh my god, is this not the surprise?”

  He chuckled and replied, “Too fucking cute babe.”

  Grabbing my hand, he led me back towards the truck. I noticed for the first time that in the bed of the truck he had laid a blanket out and some cushions against the cab. There was also a picnic basket too. He helped me climb into the bed and we got comfy against the cab.

  He started to empty the basket of all my favourite foods. I couldn’t believe he had gone to so much effort and he had actually paid attention to what I liked. He smiled at me as he handed me a drink and we tucked into the food.

  Once we had finished eating, we laid back and relaxed. With my head on his chest and his arms around me, I truly thought I was in heaven. He ran his fingers slowing trailing them up and down my arm, slowly and softly his touch was so gentle.

  Breaking the peace, he asked “You want your present now?” looking up at him confused

  “Is this not my present?”

  He chuckled and pulled a black velvet jewellery box out of the picnic basket and handed it to me. My hands shook as I reached out for the box, to take the box from him.

  “Open it,” he encouraged.

  Shaking I untied the white ribbon that was wrapped around the box and lifted the lid. Inside was a beautiful silver charm bracelet with a 16 charms attached. I lifted it out the box to get a better look; inside the box were also two letter J charms, a heart charm, and a motorbike charm.

  Taking the bracelet from my hands, he asked, “Do you like it?”

  Looking him straight in the eye, I could see the panic.

  “Oh, Jay I love it.” I croaked; my throat logged with emotion. Beside the necklace from dad, it's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever bought me.

  His face lit up with that amazing smile of his.

  “I'm so glad you like it,” he says as he adds the charms explaining each to me.

  “The two ‘J’s are for Johnny and me, the heart is because you own my heart and the bike is you can always ride free.”

  I can feel the tears threatening to drop. He has put so much thought into my present. He places the bracelet round my wrist and fastens it, his finger stroke up my arms and he places a kiss on my hand.

  “Did you mean it?” I asked tentatively. He looks at me confused.

  Did I mean what?”

  “That I own your heart?” I quietly confirm, almost too scared
of the answer, could he really feel the same way as me.

  His eyes never leave mine as he reaches out and wraps a hand around the back of my neck.

  “Yes, I meant every word I said Carrie, I'm not sure when my feelings for you changed but they have and I want us to be together.”

  “Do you feel the same for me?”

  I nod my head, too scared to say the words out loud in case this is all a dream.

  His hand tightens on the back of my head and his lips come closer and closer until finally he kisses me. Slow at first and then as I open up for him, the kiss grows hungrier and demanding, his tongue explores my mouth. His hands move to the crease of my back. Pulling away we are both breathless. My hands wander and glide over his arms and down his stomach.

  “Please Jay, I want this,” I beg.

  “Carrie are you sure? I’m not pressuring you; I’ll wait till you’re ready.”

  Nodding my head, I reach out to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. Not giving him the chance to stop me. He takes his hands from around my neck and they glide down my sides as he reaches the bottom of dress, pulling it over my head leaving me in my bra and panties.

  Feeling a little self-conscious of my plain white bra and so very unsexy underwear, I start to cover myself with my arms. His hands stop my arms.

  “Please don’t hide from me, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

  Looking into his eyes I can see his honesty. Removing my arms from across me, I grip the hem of his t-shirt and start to lift it over his head, it gets a little stuck and he has to help me causing us to laugh. He started to remove his jeans and underwear until he's naked. I start to remove mine but he stops me again.